Adventures in Doula land - what you never expect

To start, I was at another birth yesterday (that is 5 births in 8 weeks!) and I have to say it is one of the most interesting ones yet... but not in the usual way. Sure some labors are long, some are short; some are loud, some are the picture of peace; some are full of faith, some are lacking confidence from the start. SOME are interesting for the doula for one reason or another - but yesterday it was the first time it was interesting because of some near escapes of bodily harm via the laboring Momma.

In the midst of very serious labor when Moms are feeling like they want to crawl literally out of their skin my job can sometimes be to get inches from their ear and get them to breathe with me, slow things down, relax and generally take it down a notch if possible. I will admit that it doesn't sound like the nicest thing to do (commanding with some strength that Mom breathes with me or what not), but I try to do it with a lot of understanding and sensitivity - sometimes I feel like a jerk doing it so I imagine it sometimes sounds that way to Momma. Sooooo, when I'm telling this Mom at one point to breathe with me (instead of hyperventilating) and to slow it down, she swatted verrrry near my face.

Hmmmmm, I backed away a bit out of reach.

So later when Mom has gone through levitating off the bed (practically) and truly acting like she was possessed, she was getting some medication and had to hold still (it hardly worked - I swear, so far both doula clients that have had medication while I was their doula, it hardly worked - both times not even an hour). So she is holding still with more concentration than I have seen from her thus far and she is squishing my hand (later I checked to see if my wedding ring made me bleed, that's how hard) and she slowly brings my hand (in hers) to her open mouth with bared teeth... and then goes to bite me, and slowly backs my hand away (phew!). Not two minutes later my hand is headed for the same direction and again, she chooses not to bite me.

Hmmmmmm, do doulas taste good? Shall we NOT find out?

Overall, I must say that it was interesting (as so far, every single one is), but next time, I won't have the biting or hitting... even in the heat of labor I need a bit of respect. : )

So how shall I write this birth story then?