The new season starts... now!
I took my last test for my classes today, I am DONE with school! I am done for several years (even if I didn't pass my class), I am not going to be a college student for a while - hallelujah!! I am so relieved to spend time with my family, finish projects, establish the feeling of peace I love, and just play with my boys... what a total joy! I won't feel guilty that I'm not multi-tasking, studying (or procrastinating), and my focus gets to go where it really should be right now. I'm still going to be a doula, but I am overjoyed to simplify - hopefully I can figure out how to relieve some of the pressure from my wonderful husband... he is just up to his neck with work and the stress that goes with it. Poor guy.
So I was a doula after that birth I posted last, and it has also been an extreme learning experience... the birth and labor weren't as much as the following 2 weeks have been (it'll be 2w as of Sunday morning) since this Mom had her baby. She had pretty calm and random labor pains all day Sat. and it wasn't until late Sat. evening (11:00) that her water broke. Her contractions picked up but she was fine still... she said she'd call when she needed more help or had questions. I got a call about 2:30 from her boyfriend asking if water coming out with each contraction was okay (yes) so he said ok... I got a call 15 min. later from the Momma saying she was really in a lot of pain and wanted me to come. I flew out of bed, got ready and was out the door in less than 10 min. I drove a good 40 mph on the roads to get to her house and when I got there and pulled my things out... I could hear Mom pushing from her open window. I hardly remember bolting up their stairs to their apartment and throwing my things on the floor. I walked in to Mom pushing in the tub, "I've already been pushing for 5 min!" she said. I flipped open my phone praying that the midwife was going to fly - but the Dad said they'd called her when Mom started pushing (phew! because while I'd love to catch a baby... maybe with less panic). : ) The midwife showed up maybe 7 min. later and the Mom started calming down. She actually liked pushing and kept asking, "Is that okay?"... I told her to enjoy it! Baby was born into water with one big push all at once, and Mom sat back with relief (with baby still on the tub floor!). The midwife practically jumped INto the pool to get baby, and pulled her up. She was gurgly from mucus in her tummy and nose, but she was breathing pretty well. We'd been there a total of 25 min!
Since that point, baby had refused to nurse for almost 3 days - the key ended up being a suplemental nursing system (SNS) and a fellow Mom nursing her daughter. The new Mom had really flat nipples and the baby just wasn't able to figure it out - after a nursing with a different Momma that didn't have this problem, baby figured it out in less than 12 hours. She was not becoming dehydrated or anything (even though she hadn't nursed) so it was amazingly un-freakish that baby had gone that long.
BUT, the frustration that Mom continues to feel re: feeding her daughter (honestly, I don't think she is cueing into her baby's cues (yet?)) and behavior has been exceedingly time-consuing, energy-consuming for all involved. I don't mind serving this Mom or her family, and I don't mind answering late night calls - but it got to the point where I was answering questions about poop-color at 3:30 am! Since then, it mellowed out a bit, but even then, I'm running to their house on "panic calming" errands - to check out their daughter's umbilical cord, taking her daughter for a walk so that she can rest and shower, eat and listen to silence, getting meals organized for her, having other people go visit, etc. My husband is demanding that next time I get paid. It's hard because I remember exactly, how difficult it was for me to adjust the first time... the feelings of panic, the questions, the frustrations, the anxiety, the post-partum depression... it all takes a toll, but it doesn't need to happen if you have support.
So I'm still learning - learning that becoming a Mom is difficult at SOME point either in the labor, the delivery, the pregancy, getting pg, the parenting, family issues, the issues that baby has - - it seems like there is no such things as an easy pregnancy, labor, delivery, adjustment and parenting. Is that a horrible way to look at it or is it realistic? I think that God uses those difficult situations to make us into parents, to change us into the people we need to be for our kids.
It's funny to see how my impression about labor and delivery and what follows is changing... I can feel my expectations melting away, my first judgement calls lessening... when I get a prospective client, I don't expect anything from them at this point (honestly, I don't even expect them to call me). It's funny, and it's kind of nice, I'm not worrying in the same way, or hoping even... I just feel like I take it one issue/situation at a time.
So I was a doula after that birth I posted last, and it has also been an extreme learning experience... the birth and labor weren't as much as the following 2 weeks have been (it'll be 2w as of Sunday morning) since this Mom had her baby. She had pretty calm and random labor pains all day Sat. and it wasn't until late Sat. evening (11:00) that her water broke. Her contractions picked up but she was fine still... she said she'd call when she needed more help or had questions. I got a call about 2:30 from her boyfriend asking if water coming out with each contraction was okay (yes) so he said ok... I got a call 15 min. later from the Momma saying she was really in a lot of pain and wanted me to come. I flew out of bed, got ready and was out the door in less than 10 min. I drove a good 40 mph on the roads to get to her house and when I got there and pulled my things out... I could hear Mom pushing from her open window. I hardly remember bolting up their stairs to their apartment and throwing my things on the floor. I walked in to Mom pushing in the tub, "I've already been pushing for 5 min!" she said. I flipped open my phone praying that the midwife was going to fly - but the Dad said they'd called her when Mom started pushing (phew! because while I'd love to catch a baby... maybe with less panic). : ) The midwife showed up maybe 7 min. later and the Mom started calming down. She actually liked pushing and kept asking, "Is that okay?"... I told her to enjoy it! Baby was born into water with one big push all at once, and Mom sat back with relief (with baby still on the tub floor!). The midwife practically jumped INto the pool to get baby, and pulled her up. She was gurgly from mucus in her tummy and nose, but she was breathing pretty well. We'd been there a total of 25 min!
Since that point, baby had refused to nurse for almost 3 days - the key ended up being a suplemental nursing system (SNS) and a fellow Mom nursing her daughter. The new Mom had really flat nipples and the baby just wasn't able to figure it out - after a nursing with a different Momma that didn't have this problem, baby figured it out in less than 12 hours. She was not becoming dehydrated or anything (even though she hadn't nursed) so it was amazingly un-freakish that baby had gone that long.
BUT, the frustration that Mom continues to feel re: feeding her daughter (honestly, I don't think she is cueing into her baby's cues (yet?)) and behavior has been exceedingly time-consuing, energy-consuming for all involved. I don't mind serving this Mom or her family, and I don't mind answering late night calls - but it got to the point where I was answering questions about poop-color at 3:30 am! Since then, it mellowed out a bit, but even then, I'm running to their house on "panic calming" errands - to check out their daughter's umbilical cord, taking her daughter for a walk so that she can rest and shower, eat and listen to silence, getting meals organized for her, having other people go visit, etc. My husband is demanding that next time I get paid. It's hard because I remember exactly, how difficult it was for me to adjust the first time... the feelings of panic, the questions, the frustrations, the anxiety, the post-partum depression... it all takes a toll, but it doesn't need to happen if you have support.
So I'm still learning - learning that becoming a Mom is difficult at SOME point either in the labor, the delivery, the pregancy, getting pg, the parenting, family issues, the issues that baby has - - it seems like there is no such things as an easy pregnancy, labor, delivery, adjustment and parenting. Is that a horrible way to look at it or is it realistic? I think that God uses those difficult situations to make us into parents, to change us into the people we need to be for our kids.
It's funny to see how my impression about labor and delivery and what follows is changing... I can feel my expectations melting away, my first judgement calls lessening... when I get a prospective client, I don't expect anything from them at this point (honestly, I don't even expect them to call me). It's funny, and it's kind of nice, I'm not worrying in the same way, or hoping even... I just feel like I take it one issue/situation at a time.
posted by birthfree at
2:31 PM
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