The story continued...
So this birth that I was at Wed...
When I got there at 7:45 am. Mom was sitting on the birth ball and leaning on the couch, she very much looked as if she was in *early* labor and I wondered about her timing for calling me. She was handling contractions well and not needing anyone's assistance other than heating the heat pad for her back when it got cool. Her husband was filing the birth pool and I was just there for moral support. I was there about an hour and 15 min. when her parents showed up and while contractions had been about 15 min. between them, when her parents showed they jumped to 2 min. apart (still lasting about 1:15 each). Mom asked me about calling their midwife (my friend) so I went ahead and asked about checking her, etc. The midwife said she had day apts. and so either they needed to wait until their apt. at 1:00 or come down now for a check. Mom didn't feel at all like driving (don't blame her) so the midwife came to us.
Midwife arrived maybe 9:15 and checked Mom who was 7-8 cm.! We were both shocked (midwife and I)... still Mom was breezing through labor and got into the birthtub when it was ready (maybe another 3/4 hr) and you could tell by her face that labor was finishing dilation. It was maybe another hour or so and Mom felt like she was getting close to pushing. After another hour or so we had Mom and Dad go into the bathroom so Mom could get a sense of the pressure and sensation of relaxing/pushing/working with her body. After about 1/2 hr. they came back to the pool and Mom was breathing through her contractions.
It was another hour of working with Mom trying a few different things (having her look up with eyes open, leaning on Dad, kneeling, kneeling with one leg up, sitting back) before we realized that maybe Mom wasn't wanting to push. The midwife gave her some homeopathic stuff to help relax Mom and ease the transition into pushing (which can be very scary) - she administered some soothing spray to her bum so that that didn't bother her when she pushed and we tried the Rebozo for Mom to push, standing with Dad swinging her legs out and around in between contractions and then dangling to push when she had a contraction. The midwife could feel the baby actually move upward when Mom had a contraction because she was actually pulling her in rather than pushing her out, she tried pushing down on her bum to show her where to push and lots of encouragement. It was now about 3:00 and had been over 3 hours of pushing contractions - we sent Mom with just Dad and her Mom into the bathroom again... the contractions had spaced out to 1/2 hour between them.
After much talking and brainstorming everyone was sent outside and Mom went into the bedroom with the midwife only. It was another 40 min. before Mom decided to start actually pushing and then it was another 20 min. and baby was born in two pushes. The entire time we could see about 3 inches of her head and her heart tones were fantastic. Mom had pph and needed pitocin and methergine and her bp was super low. She passed out later on in the evening when she went to the restroom with her Mom.
Baby wasn't nursing well and Mom fell asleep almost instantly. 24 hours later things were relatively the same... I am not sure how they are doing today.
My impression was that she was used to being the baby of the family (her Mom actually told us that as well) and that she didn't want to get "down and dirty" with the pain of pushing, she was afraid of having the baby partly because things in her life would dramatically change (baby would be the attention-center, require lots of herself, she was afraid of being a Momma), she wanted to be alone and was too 'nice' to say it. There are a lot of other things too, but this was what I was thinking at the time...
I walked away wondering what in all of creation I had just been a part of. NONE of the suggestions worked - the midwife (her friend as well) finally had to tell her that if she didn't get serious about pushing eventually they would have to talk about transfering and pitocin because she was nearing exhaustion. That was the key believe it or not. It was a whole new experience to be with someone so conciously making a choice to NOT have their baby, it had never been so cut and dry before. It seemed so challenging to present opportunities for Mom and baby to make that final decision together - once you walk through all of them, it just comes down to a choice by Mom.
It was a learning experience for SURE, if presented with that place again I would talk to Mom about making a concious choice (in her ear) to birth her baby. In this situation that's exactly what it came down to.
The world of birth... ever interesting.
When I got there at 7:45 am. Mom was sitting on the birth ball and leaning on the couch, she very much looked as if she was in *early* labor and I wondered about her timing for calling me. She was handling contractions well and not needing anyone's assistance other than heating the heat pad for her back when it got cool. Her husband was filing the birth pool and I was just there for moral support. I was there about an hour and 15 min. when her parents showed up and while contractions had been about 15 min. between them, when her parents showed they jumped to 2 min. apart (still lasting about 1:15 each). Mom asked me about calling their midwife (my friend) so I went ahead and asked about checking her, etc. The midwife said she had day apts. and so either they needed to wait until their apt. at 1:00 or come down now for a check. Mom didn't feel at all like driving (don't blame her) so the midwife came to us.
Midwife arrived maybe 9:15 and checked Mom who was 7-8 cm.! We were both shocked (midwife and I)... still Mom was breezing through labor and got into the birthtub when it was ready (maybe another 3/4 hr) and you could tell by her face that labor was finishing dilation. It was maybe another hour or so and Mom felt like she was getting close to pushing. After another hour or so we had Mom and Dad go into the bathroom so Mom could get a sense of the pressure and sensation of relaxing/pushing/working with her body. After about 1/2 hr. they came back to the pool and Mom was breathing through her contractions.
It was another hour of working with Mom trying a few different things (having her look up with eyes open, leaning on Dad, kneeling, kneeling with one leg up, sitting back) before we realized that maybe Mom wasn't wanting to push. The midwife gave her some homeopathic stuff to help relax Mom and ease the transition into pushing (which can be very scary) - she administered some soothing spray to her bum so that that didn't bother her when she pushed and we tried the Rebozo for Mom to push, standing with Dad swinging her legs out and around in between contractions and then dangling to push when she had a contraction. The midwife could feel the baby actually move upward when Mom had a contraction because she was actually pulling her in rather than pushing her out, she tried pushing down on her bum to show her where to push and lots of encouragement. It was now about 3:00 and had been over 3 hours of pushing contractions - we sent Mom with just Dad and her Mom into the bathroom again... the contractions had spaced out to 1/2 hour between them.
After much talking and brainstorming everyone was sent outside and Mom went into the bedroom with the midwife only. It was another 40 min. before Mom decided to start actually pushing and then it was another 20 min. and baby was born in two pushes. The entire time we could see about 3 inches of her head and her heart tones were fantastic. Mom had pph and needed pitocin and methergine and her bp was super low. She passed out later on in the evening when she went to the restroom with her Mom.
Baby wasn't nursing well and Mom fell asleep almost instantly. 24 hours later things were relatively the same... I am not sure how they are doing today.
My impression was that she was used to being the baby of the family (her Mom actually told us that as well) and that she didn't want to get "down and dirty" with the pain of pushing, she was afraid of having the baby partly because things in her life would dramatically change (baby would be the attention-center, require lots of herself, she was afraid of being a Momma), she wanted to be alone and was too 'nice' to say it. There are a lot of other things too, but this was what I was thinking at the time...
I walked away wondering what in all of creation I had just been a part of. NONE of the suggestions worked - the midwife (her friend as well) finally had to tell her that if she didn't get serious about pushing eventually they would have to talk about transfering and pitocin because she was nearing exhaustion. That was the key believe it or not. It was a whole new experience to be with someone so conciously making a choice to NOT have their baby, it had never been so cut and dry before. It seemed so challenging to present opportunities for Mom and baby to make that final decision together - once you walk through all of them, it just comes down to a choice by Mom.
It was a learning experience for SURE, if presented with that place again I would talk to Mom about making a concious choice (in her ear) to birth her baby. In this situation that's exactly what it came down to.
The world of birth... ever interesting.
posted by birthfree at
7:42 PM
2 Comments:
I'm glad things ended the way they did and transport wasn't necessary. I'm sure your client will have some adjusting and that could have played a part.
I tell the story in my classes of a client/friend who has virtually painless labors, but HATES pushing. With each of her five babies she resists pushing.
The last birth (baby #4) she wanted to have an unassisted labor, even though she'd had a lovely (to us!) homebirth with a doula (me) and midwife for number four.
She had gotten to 10 cm and didn't want to push and it did take over an hour to convince her it was a good idea, when the midwife was concerned the baby wouldn't want to keep waiting (based on FHTs.)
Finally, she pushed for about 20 minutes, and like your client, baby was born!
So for #5, she wanted the unassisted birth, but her midwife, knowing her history of some heavy bleeding after agreed to be (even more) hands off until the baby's birth was over.
In fact, when my client woke at 2:45 feeling "labor was starting" and her hubby called the midwife and me, she was already 10 cm.
Baby arrived before the midwife and I each arrived about 3:05 a.m.!
She said that having the privacy and no pressure did make a difference. She knew she wasn going to have a peaceful birth, and that gave her the gumption to push when she felt it, not hold back and had that baby just the way she had originally wanted--but "by accident"!
Hh
Hannah
By
Milliner's Dream, a woman of many "hats"..., at 3:48 PM
I personally HATE pushing too - it *hurts* darn it and you personally have to decide to make it worse for yourself (before it gets better) and that just seems so hard to work through sometimes.
I like the relaxing part of labor... and usually if someone likes one part, they hate the other.
My midwife friend told me a story of a Mom that had been saved from pain and any struggle all her life by her own Mom... when it came to pushing, she flat out refused, hoping someone else would save her from it (she transported for medication, but the person was stuck in traffic so no epidural for her). She learned that she could go through it, face it and make it... but it is still very hard for her to talk about or think about.
I think there are facets of labor and delivery we never see, that cause many alterations - I wish childbirth classes explained in more detail how Moms may feel emotionally through labor/birth so that they can have an idea of what they may process through. It wouldn't avoid the growth into motherhood, but it would give some "oh, this is okay, I'm okay" to the process.
By
birthfree, at 11:14 PM
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