The midwife friend of mine that lets me shadow her, ask her every question under the sun and basically work with her when I can (how wonderful is that??) and I were recently talking about how I feel so very unprepared as far as technical knowledge goes. It is to be expected I am sure (seeing as I am just starting out) but I want to know more, more, more. Knowledge is power when it comes to birth I think (whether as a parent, observer, doula or other). I like to know what is going on, why, what should be happening, etc. It's that obsessive student in me now that I have a subject I adore. ANYways, I was going on about the struggle to want to know more, but not knowing where to start, how to find the information I want to know and feeling a little like a chicken with my head cut off. (Thinking in my head, 'Should I research about cord prolapse, fundal height, IUGR and which do I do first? Agggh!'). So my midwife friend said that if I want to get a group together (of aspiring midwives seeing as they really are everywhere) she will go through the topics with us, do a mini-class in other words. Sweet! And now I get to choose the topic... back to square one! :laugh: So what is the base knowledge we should know first? Does it matter? Still not sure what I'm going to choose, there are two gigantic books of topics in front of me... plowing through them trying to choose is nutty.
I went to my last doula birth that is scheduled and my (hopefully) last free one for a while. I love doing free births because in the perfect world everyone would have access to a birth helper... but when I pay someone to watch my kiddlets, print cards and brochures, gas, food and time... well, I end up severely in the red. So for now, no more freebies. It's an interesting story because this person found me on www.bellywomen.net (great site) where they match doulas with clients (free births usually) and so that is where she got my name. Funny thing is that we went to school together when we were in junior high - small world indeed.
What was interesting about this birth is that regardless of what was said, I could tell Mom didn't want to try for a natural birth (not that that is the point of a doula either, Mom's choice entirely in that regard) so I went into it expecting that she would probably want an epidural (which she ended up getting at 7cm). She really was in a good groove with the contractions by the time she got her epidural but it was obvious that it wasn't 'enough' relief for her. Her contractions did the typical space-out-thing and so about 3 hours after her epidural she was dilated to a 10 and another 45 minutes later the Dr. showed up (sigh). Baby was like the engine that could and the heartrate was awesome, always. Mom pushed little bean out in 6 pushes total (2 contractions) and had no tear. He was her biggest baby and was born 2 days shy of 37w (and thus the NICU unit was there and you'd think after all their suctioning that this poor kid had neither a brain nor intestines left). No meconium and no reason, but they deleed that poor kiddlet to no end, suctioned him a total of 7 times while he was in the room (all of an hour) and Mom was able to only hold him for maybe 5 min. total and he "had" to spend 2 hours in the NICU to monitor his blood sugars and breathing (since he was pre-term by 2 days (though weighed 7lb 5.5oz). UGH is all I have to say. I was so upset to see him laying in his isolete in the NICU under the warmer without Mom or Dad (he said he could see him good enough on the outside of the glass... so no skin to skin or any familiar sound or smell). I was so upset that my chest hurt and I have to find a way to de-stress or at least reaffirm what I believe after things like this... otherwise I'm not going to want to do hospital births soon and that is where they need doulas right?
Hard to see a baby being treated so roughly, so callously because "they won't remember" or it's habit or policy to do such and such. I just think about it from their perspective... you're warm, content and safe, all sounds muffled (as is light) and the first thing that happens when 6 inches of you is into the world is a huge green syringe is shoved up your nose twice and down your throat twice. What possibly could the baby think? I'd be thinking, "DUDE, what the HELL are you doing??!?!!! OUCH! Back off!!!" Then to have it done like 7 more times, be roughly dried off with blankets that feel like wrapping paper to new skin (never touched before by anything but silky soft) and with lights the brightness of sun. They shove this tube up your nose and down your throat into your stomach to pump out what doesn't need to be removed (natural amniotic fluid) and doesn't have a reason... no wonder so many people have oral aversions, kids won't eat particular textures. It would still upset me if it was done to a 2m old but at least at that point there is a base of security, love - but the very first few minutes of life?? It just is so unecessary and seems so cruel. Obviously when necessary, great... but rarely the case.
How is that for a soapbox? I just can't get away from putting myself in their position... we store all memories in our bodies, don't you think the very first earth-side one is pretty major?
